Resolutions rehashed

For 2015, I made 15 resolutions. Although they weren't really resolutions, they were goals. A resolution can be broken, a goal is something to continually aim for. And there weren't actually 15, there were 16 because I forgot about a challenge I joined. So rather than not bother at all, or agonize over a whole new set of personal goals for this year, I'm just going to repeat last year's with a few tweaks and addendums. And since there are 16, that works perfectly for my 2016 goals!

I didn't manage to achieve many of these goals last year, but they did help me try and find motivation to pursue things I otherwise wouldn't have done. Here they are, with a few words about how they went last year and how I'm going to approach each one for 2016.

1. Spend at least 15 minutes a day doing something creative.

I tried to quantify this to give me a specific target, but it seems rather arbitrary, and not really representative of creativity! I think I'll update this to "Do something creative every day". Part of my plans for self improvement this year are to give myself a bit more credit for achieving things, so I'm including quite a lot of small activities as "doing something creative", for example painting my nails, posting an Instagram picture or making a new dish. A lot of my other goals are related to doing more specific creative things, like making jewellery, baking and blogging, so hopefully I'll be able to cross a few off at the same time.

2. Stop apologising for things that aren’t my fault.

This is a really tricky thing for me. It's my default, and although I was perhaps more aware of it happening last year, I really didn't manage to change my core belief that everything is my fault. But I can definitely try harder, and by stopping myself from always saying sorry, I'm hoping I'll eventually start to believe I'm not always to blame and the world won't collapse when the tiniest thing goes wrong.

3. By the end of the year, have a figure I’m proud of.

Nothing new, I'm just re-starting this one. No excuses, I just didn't eat healthily enough or work out hard enough to get to this point by the end of 2015. So, along with the rest of the population, I'll be trying to drag myself back to the gym, and say no to office treats in pursuit of this totally-achievable goal.

4. Bake every other week.

I had a spat of baking last year, mostly inspired by the Great British Bake Off. I didn't quite average every other week, but it was definitely a good start. I'm still determined to complete every bake from last year's show before this year's begins, and with a shiny new standalone mixer I received for Christmas, there's nothing to stop me continuing to practice my baking skills more often. Below is my bake along with Bake Off journey so far!

5. Sell at least 5 items of hand made jewellery.

Other one with which I made good progress, but didn't quite get to the finish line. I made a good handful of necklaces in 2015, and even photographed a few to upload to my as-yet-unopened Etsy shop. With more practice in 2016, I'll hopefully produce more pieces that I think are worthy of selling and get my shop underway.

6. Read a book every month.

I read an entire book in a few days over Christmas, so I know this is achievable! But I'm guilty of spending too much time scrolling through facebook and watching TV repeats, when I really could be reading. 12 books in a year is entirely achievable. Any recommendations?

7. Update my blog every other week.

Other one that was a good effort, but just not quite as frequent as I had hoped. I've discovered I tend to want to write article style posts, rather than brief updates, which might have slowed things down a little. I'm also terrible at taking pictures, which definitely hindered my progress! I've fallen into a pattern of posting about food, fashion, roller derby and music in the same order, which I quite like as it gives me a chance to think about the next post. I think I just need to write more! It sounds simple, but I'm sure the more that I start typing, the easier I will find it to complete a post and upload without overthinking and editing everything a hundred times.

8. Eat well 5 days a week.

I think my diet in 2015 was quite poor. My biggest problem is temptation! I'm quite good at eating healthy meals, it's everything that I eat in between that's the problem. Also, "eat well" is quite a vague concept and I think it needs re-defining. I'm a huge fan of nutritionist Nichola Whitehead of Nic's Nutrition, and I love her realistic approach to healthy eating, focusing on the 80/20 rule that as long as you eat healthily 80% of the time, you can treat yourself the other 20% of the time. If I'm honest, I was probably more 60/40 in 2015 and that's not a great way to be. One thing I'm going to add to this goal is to track my food intake properly. If I'm writing down everything I eat, it should be easier to see where I need to change my habits to be able to say I'm "eating well" (80% of the time!)

9. Be more adventurous with clothes and make-up.

This is one goal that I feel I pretty much achieved. I found doing little outfit challenges really enjoyable, and it pushed me out of my comfort zone a few times. I probably wasn't as adventurous as I could have been though, so 2016 will be about taking more risks and being braver.

10. Pass CIMA C02 – C05.

Well, I passed C02 and C03! Just 4 and 5 to go, then I'll be looking at the next set of exams. Updating this for 2016 is going to include passing at least 1 exam for the next level. At least 1.

11. Learn basic German.

I did not do this at all last year. However, my Mum bought me a beginner German set for Christmas, so now I've got the tools, I've really got no excuse not to grasp the basics in a year!

12. Keep the house clean and tidy.

This is definitely still a work in progress. I researched a couple of articles about keeping a tidy house, which have inspired me to try harder but which I've not quite yet put into practice. This one breaks down a cleaning schedule into 20 minutes a day. I might not like it, but I can't deny that I probably have 20 minutes spare that I can use to help me get on top of this challenge. It really doesn't come naturally to me, so it's a case of changing lifelong habits and developing different lifestyle choices. 

13. Make more of an effort to keep in touch with friends.

This is another one that's hard to quantify. What is "more of an effort"? I feel like it's really hard to keep in touch with old friends when we all have such busy schedules. I also struggle with the anxiety of contacting people I've not spoken to for ages, and I'm petrified of phoning anyone, even my very best friend. So perhaps this challenge is less about trying to meet up with as many people as possible, and more about braving contact and reaching out to people without fearing rejection.

14. Be on time.

Being late was one of my biggest sources of stress for 2015. Granted, the majority of my lateness was caused by severe and frequent delays on the trains, but leaving an hour earlier would still have avoided this. I've begun commuting via a different route which has (touch wood) so far been more reliable, but I'm still guilty of leaving things too late and not planning my time efficiently. For 2016, I'm really going to focus on planning and doing, rather than thinking about planning and getting distracted and waylaid.

15. Learn to swing dance.

As I write this post, I am on my way to my first class of 2016. Although I didn't actually get started until the end of 2015, I did start, and I enjoyed it, and I shall continue to dance all the way to 2017. My next challenge will be to go to a social dance. The thought of improvising and not messing everything up seems impossible at the moment, but I'm hoping that will have changed by the end of the year.

16. Jog 811 miles by the end of the year.

This was the extra one from last year I'd forgotten I'd agreed to, and I was nowhere near. 811 miles is a long way (It's the distance from Lands End to John O'Groats) and a big task. I've reset it for this year, but with the added excitement of running the London Marathon in April. I've wanted to run the marathon for so long, and having repeatedly failed to get a ballot place I've finally bitten the bullet and guaranteed to raise money for the National Childbirth Trust, giving invaluable support to new parents when it's most needed. If you've read this far and you'd like to help, please pop along to my justgiving page to donate, every pound really does help.

So that's it! New year, same goals! What are your goals for this year? I'd love to hear about how people decide on, and perhaps more importantly, stick to their resolutions.

Great British Bake Off week 1 - Cake

So it's the first week off the Great British Bake Off and I've crazily decided to bake everything that the contestants are faced with. I'm not baking along in time, because frankly I don't have the time, but I'm determined to tackle everything and I shall write about one of my bakes for each week of challenges.

First up is cake. As a totally novice baker, I'm glad they started with a simple madeira cake, as I managed this OK. It's got a nice crack (!) and it tasted pretty yummy too.

The technical challenge is walnut cake with a fancy boiled icing. The contestants all made edible versions of this, so I'm hoping it's not a disaster waiting to happen. Getting my ingredients ready I crack on with the sponge mix, adding the chopped walnuts to my dry ingredients. I'm lazy and don't sift the flour, which will probably haunt me when my cake is too dense. I'm still very much getting used to the necessity of precision in timing, quantity and technique to create a decent baked good. As a love of slapdash inventive cooking, I rarely care for specifics of recipes and tend to make it up as I go along. For a good fish pie, pasta dish or homemade curry this tends to work fine, and is something I've been doing for many years. The science of baking, however, is much newer to me, and the more I question where my bakes are going wrong, the more I appreciate the reasons for such controlled steps. Baking is science, guys, and science is cool. 

I will get a fancy kitchen mixer soon. I think it's time to admit that I'm becoming quite keen on baking, and whilst it's a good workout to always cream my butter / sugar mixes by hand, I'm coming to the point where I'm craving efficiency over traditional methods.

Despite the lack of superpowered mixing assistance, I'm still able to create a fairly light and fluffy mixture, to which I add 4 eggs for moisture and to bind the mixture together.

I tip in my dry ingredients and fold in with a metal spoon as per the instructions. I have a tendency to overmix my ingredients and remove all the air, so I try to restrain myself and leave one or two tiny pockets of flour in the hope that my cakes will rise beautifully and not resemble pancakes for once.

I split the mixture between 3 pans and bake for a little less time than instructed. I've learnt that the oven in my new house cooks faster than expected, so I'm finding myself reducing either the temperature or the cooking time for most things. I'm still discovering which is more effective, but the cakes this time look pretty good - they are golden and springy to touch and there's a lovely nutty aroma filling the kitchen.

The next step in the recipe is to make the caramelised walnuts, which quite a few of the contestants struggled with. It seems that there is very little water to dissolve the sugar, and in their keenness to avoid stirring the hot sugar syrup and crystalising the mixture, a few were left with hot sugar rather than any kind of caramel. With this in mind, I add the water to the sugar and stir it together to make a kind of sugar paste which I put on a low heat. As a fan of multitasking, I throw some butter and sugar in a bowl to move onto the next step, the buttercream filling. 

Luckily, buttercream is something that's pretty tricky to get wrong, in my humble opinion. Mixed once again with a wooden spoon, it's ready in no time to sandwich the sponge layers together with creamy vanilla deliciousness.

Keeping an eye on my sugar, I wait until it is bubbling and browned before carefully adding the 10 walnuts and swirling around to coat in the hot mixture, before tipping onto greaseproof paper to cool. The recipe calls for a silicone sheet which I don't have. Later, as I am carefully peeling / washing off the slightly torn baking parchment from my beautiful caramel walnuts, I realise why silicone would have been a better idea. A lesson for next time and another baking related item added to my shopping list. 

Last up is the boiled icing, which we discovered on the show tends to go grainy if the sugar is not first dissolved in water before mixing with the egg whites. I'm heating that sugar for what seems like forever over a pan of water before I give up and start whisking. I've got quite a creamy, white and glossy mixture that's only a tiny bit grainy so I soldier on and hope for the best. Now, the recipe states that the mixture should be whisked over a pan of hot water, and that one needs to work quickly to decorate the cake before the icing sets. Hindsight being a wonderful thing, I would do basically the opposite were I ever to attempt a boiled icing again. By whisking the mixture over hot water, this means it's still very warm when I come to add it to my cake, and the whole thing starts sliding off and dripping onto the counter. The small amount of icing I leave in the bowl seems to be less runny after a few minutes before it has cooled fully, and probably would have coated the cake better. I can tell that it's still going to be grainy, and I don't get to add any swirls as the recipe instructs because it's still so warm! Maybe it needed more mixing, maybe if I had more patience and had actually waited for the sugar to dissolve properly I would have had more success, who knows. All I know is that boiled icing is added to my list of baking dislikes, and isn't going to become my signature any time soon.

I add the caramelised walnuts and even a little sugarwork I sort of twisted into something resembling a decoration. Forgetting to leave the cake to cool means that the caramel started to melt a little, discolouring the icing overnight. This is why this cake is a technical challenge. There are technical elements, that I haven't quite mastered yet.

There are definite "lairs" in my cake, the walnuts are pretty well distributed, I've managed to decorate with the walnuts and the taste is fine. The sponge is a little dry and there's that infamous graininess to the icing, but overall I hope I wouldn't have come last for my first technical. I did have the full recipe and the experiences of the bakers to go by though, so perhaps a significant advantage.

Next up, I baked a black forest gateaux. With less silly technical elements, this one went pretty well. Here's a picture below.

Week 2 is biscuits, and it's only going to get tougher from here on in!

Walnut cake recipe here.